Yu Yu Hakusho Songfics
by Rose Thorne
Summary: Almost all of my YYH songfics in one story to save room. Mostly shonen ai. Posted in the order they were written.
1. Everything You Want 42401

Everything You Want

By Rose Thorne

Standard Disclaimer: The song _Everything You Want_ is sung by Vertical Horizon. Yu Yu Hakusho was created by Yoshihiro Togashi.

_Somewhere they're speaking  
It's already coming in  
Moon is rising at the back of your mind_

[Hiei sits in a tree, watching the moon as he tries futily to sleep, his mind full of unanswered questions. Kurama lies in his bed, wide awake and thinking.]

_You never could get it  
Unless you were fed it  
And now you're here and you don't know why_

[Flashback to Kurama teasing Hiei. The fire demon does not react to the fox's flirting. Finally, Kurama gets fed up and hugs him tightly. Hiei shoves him away and flees, not understanding.]

_But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
And past the places where you used to learn_

[Hiei's memories torment him as he tries to sleep. Nearly every night ends with a nightmare. Kurama tries to understand why Hiei left, but even with four millennia of knowledge he's left baffled.]

_You howl and listen  
Listen and wait for the  
Echoes of angel that won't return_

[Flashback to Kurama offering Hiei and ice cream cone. Hiei rejects it with a rude comment. Kurama doesn't react; he only offers it to him again. Hiei leaves.]

_He's everything you want  
He's everything you need_

[Kurama looks longingly after Hiei, still holding the ice cream cone, feeling like he's missing something without the fire demon.]

_He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you and you don't know why_

[Hiei watches enviously as Kurama uses his outgoing personality and natural charm to make friends, wishing that he had the same ability. Kurama seems to see his emotions and says something kind to him. Hiei stares at him impassively and leaves, wishing Kurama could be his friend, but knowing with depressing certainty that it's impossible.]

_You're waiting for someone  
To put you together_

[Hiei makes a cryptic remark to Kurama, hoping that the fox will understand. The fire demon leaves, disappointed, as Kurama only stares at him blankly, not understanding at all.]

_You're waiting for someone  
To push you away  
There's always another  
Wound to discover_  
[Hiei says something sarcastic to one of Kurama's comments, expecting to be yelled at. Instead, the fox looks hurt. Hiei leaves, the hurt look somehow hurting more than harsh words would have.]

_There's always something more you wish he'd say_

[Kurama smiles at Hiei, telling the fire demon that he's his best friend. Hiei feels disappointed for some reason. He leaves.]

_He's everything you want  
He's everything you need_

[Hiei watches Kurama go through his day as a ningen, wishing, for some reason, that he could join him. He leaves as the longing in his heart urges him to do just that.]

_He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be  
He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you and you don't know why_

[Kurama sighs enviously as Hiei leaves for a trip to the Makai, wishing he could do the same thing. He sometimes gets fed up with the ningen life. If only he could go. Hiei surprises the fox by asking him if he wants to come with. Kurama just smiles, politely declining. Somehow Hiei's offer makes him feel better.]

_But you'll just sit tight  
And watch it unwind  
It's only what you're askin' for_

[Hiei sees the longing in Kurama's eyes every time the fox teases him, but he ignores it, waiting for it to go away, knowing that the Forbidden Child couldn't have friends.]

_And you'll be just fine  
With all of your time  
It's only what you're waitin' for_

[Kurama sits in the park with nothing to do. Hiei hasn't visited him in a long time. He feels like giving up, but knows that he can't.]

_Out of the island  
Into the highway  
Past the places where you might have turned_

[A deep depression settles over Hiei as the Urameshi Team disbands. He feels as though there is nowhere he can go. He remembers Kurama's many offers of friendship and bitterly realizes that he should have accepted them.]

You never did notice  
But you still hide away  
The anger of angels that won't return

[Kurama sits in the park, appearing calm on the outside, but inside he is tormented by a maelstrom of anger; anger that is directed at himself for scaring Hiei away. He knows in his heart that the fire demon will never come back.]

_He's everything you want  
He's everything you need  
He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be_

[Hiei returns to the Ningenkai, horribly injured. He goes to Kurama's place. The fox brings him in and helps him heal him with care that Hiei has never known.]

_He says all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But he means nothing to you and you don't know why_

[Hiei thanks Kurama softly, shocking the fox. Hiei has never thanked him before. Kurama smiles and tells him that he didn't need to thank him; he would help him any time.]

_I am everything you want  
I am everything you need  
I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be_

[Kurama, knowing that Hiei wants and needs someone to love him, hugs the fire demon gently, fully expecting him to run. To his surprise, Hiei stays put. In fact, he leans into the hug.]

_I say all the right things  
At exactly the right time  
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why_

[Kurama whispers something into Hiei's ear. The fire demon pulls away, staring at the fox sadly. He leaves.]

_And I don't know...why_

[Kurama sobs as he watches Hiei disappears into the night. Something glints on the floor in the moonlight, catching the fox's attention. Kurama picks it up. It's a perfect, black tear gem.]

_And I don't know..._

[Hiei stops in a tree, remembering his regret at not accepting Kurama's friendship before. Kurama looks up as somebody enters through his window, staring with shock as he sees that it's Hiei. The fire demon advances and stares at Kurama for a long moment. Suddenly, he leans forward and wraps his arms around Kurama, burying his face in the fox's chest. Kurama returns the hug, rocking the Jaganshi back and forth as he trembles.]

_...why..._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My very first songfic. I hope minna likes it! I plan on writing others as well. By the way, I will _hopefully_ have a non-songfic lemon sequel to this, so stay tuned or whatever. 


	2. Believe 42401

Believe

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _Believe_ belongs to Cher and Warner Bros, as well as the producers Brian Higgins, Stuart McLennan, Paul Barry, Stephen Torch, Matt Gray and Tim Powell. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_No matter how hard I try  
You keep pushing me aside_

[Kurama smiles at Hiei, saying something nice. Hiei glares at him and says something rude in return. Kurama seems to take it in stride, but underneath the smile, his heart is breaking to see his friend so bitter.]

_And I can't break through  
There's no talkin' to you_

[Kurama tries to entice Hiei to talk, to laugh, to show _any_ emotion. The fire demon ignores it all, giving Kurama's efforts no attention whatsoever. The fox sighs in frustration, knowing that Hiei understood; the youkai wasn't stupid.]

_It's so sad that you're leavin'  
It takes time to believe it  
But after all is said and done  
You're gonna be the lonely one...ohhh_

[Hiei informs the team that he intends to go to the Makai to live. Kurama is surprised and hurt, but he hides it under his ever-present, false smile and asks Hiei to come visit sometime. The fire demon scowls at him and asks why he should bother, considering that he hates the Ningenkai and everything in it.]

_Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no  
Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say,  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no_

[Kurama continues his daily activities after Hiei leaves, but his heart isn't in it. Hiei took it when he left. The fox sinks into a deep depression, but continues to keep his false smile on his face. Nobody senses anything awry.]

_What am I supposed to do?  
Sit around and wait for you?  
Well I can't do that  
And there's no turnin' back  
I need time to move on  
I need love to feel strong  
'Cos I've had time to think it through  
N' maybe I'm too good for you, ohhh_

[After months, Kurama decides to give up, knowing he'll die of sorrow if he continues to mourn Hiei's absence. He tries dating, tries convincing himself that Hiei didn't deserve him, but he fails miserably.]

_Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no  
Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no_

[Kurama's depression deepens so badly that his masks cracks. He stops dating and going out at all, preferring to drown his sorrows with liquor.]

_Well I know that I'll get through this  
'Cos I know that I am strong  
And, I don't need you anymore  
I don't need you anymore  
I don't need you anymore  
No, I don't need you anymore_

[In an alcoholic state, Kurama can convince his mind that he didn't need Hiei, that he never had. But when the drunkenness leaves him, he feels even worse than before.]

_Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no  
Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say,  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no._

[Kurama vows never to drink again. The phone rings but he leaves it, not wanting to talk to anyone. The answering machine picks it up. Yuusuke tells him that they had found out that Hiei had died, trying to come back to the Ningenkai. All of the enemies he had acquired over the years had joined forces and hunted him down. He hadn't stood a chance. That was the reason he had never come back. He was dead...And his death had not been easy. Kurama grabs a bottle of liquor, tears rolling down his cheeks at his loss, and drowns his sorrow in a bottle again, drinking more than he had ever managed before. He falls asleep, the bottle falling to the floor. ]

_Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no_

[When Yuusuke comes the next day to check on Kurama, worried by the fact that the fox never returned his calls, he finds the body. Kurama sits with an empty liquor bottle on the floor and a true smile on his face, very different from the false ones Yuusuke has always seen. The ningen suddenly realizes something and slumps to the floor in tears.]

_Do you believe in life after love?  
I can feel something inside me say,  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, my Hiei/Kurama death fic...the FIRST one! Written in five minutes...seriously! Oh, and what Yuusuke realized is that Kurama died to be with Hiei.


	3. Angel of Mine 42401

Angel of Mine

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _Angel of Mine_ belongs to Monica. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_When I first saw you I already knew  
There was something inside of you  
Something I thought that I would never find  
Angel of Mine_

[Hiei watches Kurama secretly, thinking of the fox's kindness. Flash to Kurama smiling and saying something kind, treating him as no one else ever has, for Hiei is the Forbidden Child.]

_I look at you looking at me  
Now I know why they say the best things are free  
Gonna love you boy you are so fine  
Angel of Mine_

[Kurama knows that Hiei watches him, and he knows why. Smiling, he closes his eyes and pictures Hiei's kawaii face. Love fills his heart for the fire demon, unlike any feeling the fox has ever known.]

_How you changed my world you'll never know  
I'm here for now, you helped me grow_

[Hiei thinks of his life before meeting Kurama, every day a fight for survival, filled with bitterness and sorrow. Now his life seems to have a purpose, and his cold heart begins to warm.]

_You came into my life  
Sent from above_

[Kurama thinks of how he met Hiei, the fire demon literally falling on him from a tree, wounded but still full of fight.]

_When I lost the hope  
You show me love  
I'm checkin' for you  
Boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine_

[Hiei remembers meeting Kurama and being attacked from behind, only to wake up in his bed, with the fox healing his injuries. The redhead had saved his life, and continued to save it every time he smiled or spoke kindly to him. Kurama always knows how to soothe him when he was upset or angry...or sad. The fire demon knows that without the fox, his life would be meaningless.]

_Nothing means more to me then what we share  
No one in this world can ever compare_

[Kurama visits Hiei, jumping up into the tree that the fire demon inhabits, bringing ice cream for his friend. Hiei eats it while Kurama talks to him. The fox sees the ice cream on Hiei's face and leans down gently, not able to resist the urge to lick it off. Hiei looks confused for a moment, then disappears. Kurama curses, angry at himself for his impulsiveness.]

_Last night the way you moved is still on my mind  
Angel of Mine_

[Hiei watches Kurama as he leaves for school, then touches his lips gently, remembering the night before, finally understanding after a sleepless night what Kurama meant by it.]

_What you mean to me you'll never know  
Deep inside I need to show_

[Kurama walks home disspiritedly, wishing he could take back what happened the night before. He looks up and gasps, seeing Hiei standing on the sidewalk in front of him. Fiercely, the fox resists the urge to run to him and hug him.]

_You came into my life  
Sent from above_

[Hiei looks at Kurama, who is his real-life angel, watching the conflicting emotions play across the fox's face. _His_ fox's face.]

_When I lost the hope  
You show me love_

[As Kurama stands there, Hiei flashes a small smile, the turns and begins to walk. Kurama smiles and follows, knowing that that's what Hiei wants him to do, wondering what awaits him at the end of this path.]

_I'm checkin' for you  
Boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine_

[Hiei looks back only once, unbelieving that Kurama is actually following him. He blinks as the fox flashes him a brilliant smile, then offers a hesitant, tiny one back. Then he turns and continues walking, quite aware when Kurama catches up to him and puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.]

_I never knew I could feel each moment  
As if they were new_

[Kurama is shocked that he is feeling true love for the first time in his four thousand year existance. He takes Hiei's hand and squeezes it gently, receiving the answering squeeze a few seconds later.]

_Every breath that I take  
The love that we make_

[Hiei continue to lead Kurama until they reach the place. A beautiful, serene lake. Very secluded, with no one around. Kurama smiles at Hiei and hugs him, kissing his neck lightly. Hiei pulls away, his eyes avoiding Kurama's, and mumbles something at his query.]

_I only share it with you  
You, You, You, You_

[Kurama stares at Hiei for an instant, shocked. Then he lifts Hiei's chin, waiting until the fire demon meets his gaze. He whispers something, and Hiei looks at him increduously. Then he smiles suddenly, the first true smile that Kurama has ever seen on his face, and hugs the fox.]

_When I first saw you I already knew  
There was something inside of you_

[Kurama holds Hiei gently, thinking of the day they first met, and his longing for the fire demon ever since, even through all the harsh words.]

_Something I thought that I would never find  
Angel of Mine_

[Hiei falls asleep in Kurama's arms, and, for the first time since infancy, is untroubled by nightmares. He awakes with a feeling of contentment, of belonging, that he has never before felt. The fire demon knows that he has finally found a home and a safe haven with Kurama.]

_You came into my life  
Sent from above_

[Kurama watches Hiei sleep, playing with the fire demon's hair. He leans down and kisses the brow of the being who is his soul mate.]

_When I lost the hope  
You show me love  
I'm checkin' for you  
Boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine_

[Hiei's sorrowful past seems like a faded memory when he is with Kurama. Kurama's love is like a warm blanket, and the fox wraps him in it, keeping him safe and warm. He knows that if he had not met Kurama all of those years ago, he would be dead.]

_How you changed my world you'll never know  
I'm here for now you helped me grow_

[Kurama feels like his world his lit up, and his path clearer, with none of the obstacles that have barred his way before. With Hiei to share his life with, he feels like a new man.]

_I look at you looking at me  
Now I know why they say the best things are free_

[Hiei grins as he catches Kurama looking at him as they walk down the street. The fox grins back and touches his shoulder gently. Hiei sighs happily; his long-time wish has finally come true. He finally has somebody who he can call family.]

_Checkin' for you boy you're right on time  
Angel of Mine_


	4. Anytime 42401

Anytime

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _Anytime_ belongs to Brian McKnight and anyone else who helped to produce it. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

* * *

_I can't remember why we fell apart  
From something that was so meant to be, yeah..._

[Hiei and Kurama remember all the good times with each other, now separated by the barrier between the worlds. Neither can remember why Hiei left. All they remember is that they got into an argument, and that both had said things that they regret.]

_Forever was the promise in our hearts  
Now, more and more I wonder where you are_

[Kurama remembers giving himself to Hiei fully, promising to love the fire demon forever. He wonders where Hiei is. Hiei bitterly remembers Kurama's promise to him. He wonders how Kurama is doing.]

_Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?  
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?_

[Hiei practices with his katana, fighting his memories desperately. Flash to Hiei sleeping fitfully. He suddenly jerks awake, crying out Kurama's name in the dark, reaching out as if to stop him from leaving.]

_Do I ever cross your mind anytime?  
I miss you..._

[Kurama goes to class, but he can't concentrate. The only thing he can think about is Hiei. Sorrow fills his heart as he realizes that it's been a year since Hiei left. He knows that his love will never return.]

_Still have your picture in a frame  
Hear your footsteps down the hall_

[Kurama looks at the scowling picture of Hiei by his bed, remembering with a smile how much the fire demon hated having his picture taken. He turns as he hears a sound by the window, hope filling his desolate face. There is no one there. A tear slides down Kurama's face.]

_I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane  
How I wish that you would call  
To say_

[Hiei turns as he hears a familiar laugh. No one is there. The fire demon fights back tears as he realizes how much he misses that laugh, that voice. He wishes he could go back, but knows that what he said to Kurama is unforgivable. He whispers three words softly, almost to himself, a forlorn tear sliding down his cheek.]

_Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?  
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?_

[Kurama thinks about Hiei constantly, not being able to concentrate on anything else. At night he dreams about it. About their fight, waking up reaching out and calling Hiei's name.]

_Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?  
I miss you..._

[Hiei practices, blurring faster and faster as he tries desperately to forget his harsh words and the fox's hurt look. Finally he falls to his knees, unable to hold his tears back anymore. He misses Kurama so badly...]

_I miss you..._

[Kurama cries himself to sleep, remembering his angry words, him hitting Hiei, Hiei leaving. He misses his love so badly...]

_I miss you..._

[Unable to stand his loneliness anymore, Hiei heads to the Ningenkai. He knows that he'll die if Kurama can't forgive him.]

_(No more) loneliness and heartache..._

[Kurama wishes he could apologize to Hiei and make things right. He wonders if Hiei would accept it. On a whim, he leaves the window open, as he did the first few months Hiei was gone.]

_(No more) crying myself to sleep..._

[Hiei watches through Kurama's window as the fox cries himself to sleep, knowing that he is the cause of Kurama's sorrow. He resolves himself and enters through the open window.]

_(Don't want no more) wondering about tomorrow...  
Won't you come back to me?  
Come back to me, oh...  
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?  
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?_

[Kurama dreams about Hiei, about him coming back. Even while he's dreaming, he knows it's not going to happen. He wakes up, calling for Hiei again, crying because he knows the fire demon isn't there.]

_Do I ever cross your mind anytime?  
I miss you..._

[Hiei flinches as Kurama wakes, calling his name desperately. He makes his presence known, waiting for the axe to fall.]

_Do I ever cross your mind, anytime?  
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?_

[Kurama stares as he sees Hiei by his bed, wondering if it's just another dream. Then he sees the tears on Hiei's cheeks and knows that it's not. Gently, he touches Hiei's face, wiping tears away. As the fire demon looks up at him, Kurama sees in his ruby red orbs how much he has suffered.]

_Do I ever cross your mind anytime  
I miss you..._

[Hiei pulls away, averting his eyes and mumbling an apology. Silence reigns for a moment. Finally the fire demon says those three words. _I miss you..._ He turns away, thinking sorrowfully that Kurama hates him.]

_I miss you..._

[Kurama draws Hiei into a tight embrace, and repeats the words back to the fire demon, meaning them will all his heart. _I miss you..._ Tears wet his face as he apologizes as well.]

_I miss you..._

[Hiei turns toward him and looks at the fox incredulously, shocked that someone would bother with him after he was such an asshole. He says so. Kurama says three different words and hugs him fiercely, not ever wanting to let go. Hiei returns the words and the hug. They cling to each other with the need to be close. The scene fades as Kurama kisses Hiei gently.]

_I miss you..._


	5. This I Promise You 42401

This I Promise You

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _This I Promise You_ belongs to N'Sync. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~*~

_When the visions around you  
Bring tears to your eyes  
And all that surround you  
Are secrets and lies_

~*~

Sitting at the window, Hiei watches his fellow Reikai Tantei as they laugh and joke, carefully staying out of the way, knowing he's not wanted. He knows that none of them consider him a friend. Kurama, the former partner in crime, whom he had accidentally attacked when they had first met, believing him to be an enemy. Yuusuke, his former enemy, against whom he vowed revenge, though he knew he would never take it. Kuwabara, who hated the fire demon the instant he saw him, and whom Hiei has insulted over and over again. They beckon him to join them, but he knows it's just to be what ningens call polite. Why would they care about him after his crimes? Liars. That's what they were. Liars. The fire demon ignores their beckons, leaving into the stormy night.

~*~

_I'll be your strength  
I'll give you hope  
Keeping your faith when it's gone  
The one you should call  
Was standing here all along_

~*~

Kurama frowns as Hiei ignores them, seeing the pain in the youkai's eyes. He excuses himself from the conversation he was having with Yuusuke and Kuwabara and follows the little demon as he leaves. He knows that Hiei is lonely, but the fire demon ignores all of his offers of friendship and support, and the fox can't figure out why. Hiei always comes to him with injuries, but it is painfully obvious that he does that only because he has no where else to go, not because the fire demon trusts him.

~*~

_And I will take  
You in my arms  
And hold you right where you belong  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you  
This I promise you_

~*~

Hiei starts as Kurama calls up to him softly. He realizes that the fox followed him, and wonders why. Kurama is always so...persistent. Always kind. But why? Hiei flinches as the youko jumps up to perch beside him on the wet branch. The fire demon decides that the best way to be rid of the fox is to ignore him. After all, this _is_ Hiei's tree. However, Kurama says nothing, which perplexes Hiei even more. They sit in silence for a moment, before the fox finally asks a startling question. "Why do you hate me?"

Momentarily forgetting his decision to ignore the fox, Hiei stares at him in shock, speaking impulsively. "I don't." He curses silently at his lack of self control and leaves, deciding to find another place to sleep rather than embarrass himself.

~*~

_I've loved you forever  
In lifetimes before_

~*~

Kurama watches Hiei leave, surprised by the youkai's momentary openness. He shakes his head slowly, wondering what Hiei meant, for there was always a hidden meaning to the youkai's words. Why did the fire demon reject him if not for hate? Kurama had betrayed him to Yuusuke, so Hiei had a reason to hate him...Kurama jumps down from the tree, his heart aching to hold Hiei and take his sorrow away. He sits on a park bench for nearly an hour, wondering what to do. The fox comes to a decision and follows Hiei's ki again.

~*~

_And I promise you never  
Will you hurt anymore  
I give you my word  
I give you my heart  
This is a battle we've won  
And with this vow  
Forever has now begun_

~*~

Kurama soundlessly jumps up into the tree where Hiei sleeps, careful not to shake the branch he is on. He watches the fire demon sleep for a while. Suddenly, Hiei twitches in his sleep, then shudders, caught in a nightmare. Kurama stares at him for a moment, then carefully runs his hand through the demon's hair, trying to sooth him. It doesn't work. Hiei whimpers softly and jerks away, still caught in a nightmare, unable to wake.

The fox frowns and shakes his friend. That doesn't work. Frowning, Kurama picks him up and heads toward his apartment to see how to help his friend. By the time he gets there, Hiei is shaking violently. Kurama wraps him in a blanket and holds him, knowing that he can't do anything until the fire demon wakes on his own.

~*~

_Just close your eyes  
Each loving day  
I know this feeling won't go away  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you  
This I promise you_

~*~

Kurama frowns in concern as Hiei's nightmare seems to intensify. It's been going on for hours, and the fox is becoming frantic. He doesn't know how to wake Hiei up without terrifying him further. Touching his friend's forehead, he pulls away in shock. Hiei is running a very high fever. Kurama hurries to the bathroom and back. He gently mops Hiei's sweaty face with a cool, damp cloth, fear gripping his heart as Hiei cries out softly in his sleep. More now than ever, he wants to take the fire demon's sorrow away.

~*~

_Over and over I fall  
When I hear you call  
Without you in my life baby  
I just wouldn't be living at all_

~*~

In his dream, Hiei sobs in frustration. He's had this nightmare before, but now it won't stop. It keeps repeating itself, over and over again. Even though he knows it's a dream, a memory, it hurts just as much as if it were really happening again. As if the Koorime were throwing him away again. Surrounded by cold, he shivers, then cries out as he is thrown over again, the scream cut off by his impact with the ground. Then the dream rewinds and starts over again.

Suddenly he hears somebody calling his name from a distance. Somebody with Kurama's voice. Hiei's consciousness tries to follow the voice, but the dream happens again. The fire demon hears his name again and wrenches toward the voice, grasping for it. He jerks awake to find himself in Kurama's arms, being held gently. Kurama smiles at him gently. "Welcome back, Hiei." That is the last thing the sanjiyan hears before he passes out with exhaustion, knowing somehow that he'll be cared for.

~*~

_And I will take  
You in my arms  
And hold you right where you belong  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you baby_

~*~

Kurama holds Hiei gently, relieved as he feels that the fire demon's temperature is going down. Hiei sleeps peacefully, his head resting near Kurama's heart. The fox caresses Hiei's cheek lightly, wishing he could stay this way forever, holding Hiei close. But he knows that it will never happen. He knows that Hiei hates him.

~*~

_Just close your eyes  
Each loving day  
I know this feeling won't go away  
Every word I say is true  
This I promise you_

~*~

Hiei wakes slowly, still feeling extremely tired after what happened. He opens his eyes to find himself in Kurama's arms, nestled against the sleeping fox's chest. He knows that moving would wake Kurama, but he also knows that he's too exhausted to move, even if he wanted to.

The fox remedies that by waking. He looks down at the fire demon curled against his chest, and Hiei is suddenly lost in those beautiful green eyes. He sees Kurama's brilliant smile through the fox's eyes. "Ohayo, Hiei. You had some sort of Makai bug last night. You're lucky I found you."

Hiei tears his eyes away and frowns. "Why did you bother?" he asks softly, knowing that the fox doesn't care about him.

Kurama stares at him for a moment, shocked at the fire demon. "You're my best friend, Hiei! Why wouldn't I?!"

The little youkai averts his eyes. "I've nearly killed you twice, Kurama. Don't make me spell it out." He waits to be pushed away at the reminder, but gasps as Kurama hugs him instead.

"Hiei, that doesn't matter. It was in the past, and the past is over. I care about you a lot."

Kurama suddenly realizes why Hiei stays away from him. He believes that people hate him for his past mistakes. Slowly, their heads move together, almost of their own will, and their lips brush.

~*~

_Every word I say is true  
This I promise you  
Ooh, I promise you_

~*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I used a different style this time, but I didn't like it all that much. I'll go back to my original style. I hope _somebody_ likes this one...


	6. Never Had a Dream Come True 42401

Never Had A Dream Come True

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _Never Had A Dream Come True_ belongs to S CLUB 7, Cathy Dennis, and Simon Ellis. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Oooh-oooh  
Everybody's got something  
They had to leave behind  
One regret from yesterday  
That just seems to grow with time_

[Kurama daydreams, thinking about all the good times he had with Hiei. Now the fire demon is gone, and he'll never come back. His friends look at him with concern as a tear slides down his cheek, but Kurama just smiles and rubs his eye, saying he has something it it.]

_There's no use looking back or wondering  
How it could be now or might have been  
All this I know but still I can't find ways  
To let you go_

[Hiei sits in the tree he spent the night in, deep in the Makai. His memories plague him; memories of Kurama. They bring a fierce ache to his already heavy heart. He shakes his head and resists the powerful urge to go back, knowing it's over, but unable to accept it. The words that were said between them that night were unforgivable, especially on his part.]

_I never had a dream come true  
'Til the day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby_

[Kurama goes out with his friends, but his mind is elsewhere, with the little youkai who affected his life in stupendous ways. He laughs at something with his friends, but halfheartedly. When his friends aren't looking, he takes a worn photo from his pocket and caresses the scowling face lightly with his thumb.]

_I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where life takes me to  
A part of me will always be with you, yeah_

[Hiei thinks about his feelings for Kurama, angry at himself for never voicing them, for never being able to say the right words. Everything he wanted to say always came out wrong. There were no words that could describe the feeling in his heart. He travels through the Makai, each night in a different place. But always, his soul is with Kurama.]

_Somewhere in my memory  
I've lost all sense of time _

[Kurama sits at the table in the coffee shop, hearing what his companions are saying, but from a distance, lost in his own thoughts, his memories. The present and the future seem unreal, so unreal that he can't seem to live in them. He lives in the past, unable to think of anything but his former lover.]

_And tomorrow can never be  
'Cos yesterday is all that fills my mind_

[Hiei fights a youkai who wants him dead, his heart not really in the fight. He easily kills the demon, not really even noticing the fight's end. In his mind is Kurama, always and forever. And he can't concentrate on anything else.]

_There's no use looking back or wondering  
How it should be now or might have been  
All this I know but still I can't find ways  
To let you go_

[Kurama can't remember when he last got a good night's sleep; he's forever haunted by the way he and Hiei had parted, the cruel, harsh words that were exchanged between them. He wonders what would had happened if Hiei had stayed, but he shakes it from his mind, knowing that it will depress him even more. But he can't stop thinking about it, and regretting everything that was said. He can't let Hiei go.]

_I never had a dream come true  
'Til the day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby_

[Hiei remembers life before he met Kurama. Tears roll down his cheeks, unbidden, as he remembers what it had felt like to finally be loved. He remembered Kurama telling him, holding him as he'd never been held before. Loving him when he had never even known the meaning of the word. He knows that he'll never be able to truly leave Kurama, his first and only love, even though he's tried. He'll always love Kurama, and being separated from him is pure torture.]

_I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day_

[Though Kurama always told Hiei how much he loved him, it had never really represented how deep his love for the little youkai really ran. Hiei had been one of the people to teach him what true love really meant, along with his mother. He can't think of anything else; it's always Hiei on his mind. Being separated from his one true love is torture.]

_And I know no matter where life takes me to  
A part of me will always be with you, yeah_

[Hiei is through the portal to the Ningenkai before he realizes it. He curses softly, but finds himself inexorably drawn to the familiar ki that he can already sense. He knows that he can't turn back, not now or ever.]

_You'll always be the dream that fills my head  
Yes you will, say you will  
You know you will, oh baby  
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget_

[Kurama awakens with a start, feeling the familiar ki somewhere in the Ningenkai. He sinks back into his blankets, knowing that it's just his mind playing tricks on him. But he can't sleep, as the ki comes closer. He gets up and dresses quickly, then heads toward the ki that comes closer every second, hoping against hope.]

_It's no use looking back or wondering  
Because love is a strange and funny thing_

[Hiei stops running as he feels Kurama's ki move, coming toward him. He waits in the deserted park, wanting time to sort out his feelings. He still hasn't managed that when the fox reaches him, nearly ten minutes later. The fire demon stands there, staring at Kurama, his face impassive but his eyes lost. His voice is gone. It left him as soon as he saw the kitsune moving toward him, as beautiful and graceful as ever.]

_No matter how I try and try  
I just can't say goodbye, no, no, no, no_

[Kurama smiles sadly at Hiei, watching the fire demon's face. After a moment, he chances a glance at the Hiei's crimson eyes and is startled by the lost look he sees in them. Running to the fire demon, he sweeps him into a tight embrace, whispering "I missed you" in his ear.]

_I never had a dream come true  
'Til the day that I found you_

[Hiei looks at Kurama in shock. How can the fox forgive him after what he said? After a second he hugs his lover back, burying his face in Kurama's chest as he feels the tears coming on. He feels like a ten-ton weight has been lifted from his heart.]

_Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby_

[Kurama holds Hiei close, as he did that first night so long ago, letting the fire demon cry, aware of tears running down his own cheeks as he buries his face in the fire demon's spiky black hair and breaths deep Hiei's scent. He whispers the three words that have never been enough.]

_I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day_

[Hiei pulls away at those words, knowing that he can't express what he feels with words. He suddenly gets an idea and pulls he headband off, opening his Jagan. He asks permission and is immediately granted it, he enters Kurama's mind and pulls his love's soul into his heart, showing him, rather than telling him, how he feels. At the same time, Kurama pull his soul into his heart, and the fire demon is suddenly surrounded by depthless love for him. When the Jagan finally closes, they clutch each other, tears streaming down their faces. They know in their hearts that they will never fight again.]

_And I know no matter where life takes me to  
A part of me will always be  
A part of me will always be with you, ooh_


	7. Turn Back Time 42401

Turn Back Time

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _Turn Back Time_ belongs to Aqua and anyone else who helped to produce it. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Give me time to reason,  
Give me time to think it through..._

[Hiei sits in a tree in the Makai, thinking about the past, long gone now. He wonders whether or not he did the right thing in leaving the Ningenkai.]

_Passing through the season,  
Where I cheated you..._

[Kurama sits by his window, watching the snow fall. It's been a year since that ill-fated winter night. So many days since Hiei left the Ningenkai. A move that Kurama had caused him to make.]

_I will always have a cross to wear,_

[Hiei's heart is burdened by all of his misfortune. Misfortune that has built up since the day he was born. He remembers how, at one time, Kurama had taken away his sorrow. But those days are over.]

_But the bolt reminds me I was there..._

[Kurama tries to forget, to move on. But every time he nearly succeeds, something reminds him of the fire demon that he hurt exactly a year ago.]

_So give me strength,  
To face this test tonight..._

[Hiei looks up in surprise as snow begins to fall. He realizes that this is the exact same day that the fateful event happened. The day he left. Snow continues to fall, swirling around Hiei like lost dream swirl in his mind.]

_If only I could turn back time..._

[Kurama watches the snow fall, mesmerized. He is helpless to turn away when memory takes him. Memory of something that he had failed to do.]

_If only I had said what I still hide..._

[Hiei is lost in a swirl of memories that he doesn't want to remember. He is helpless to fight them. Memory of feelings still hidden within his soul, feelings that were rejected on a night like this so long ago.]

_If only I could turn back time..  
I would stay for the night..._

[A single tear runs its course down Kurama's cheek as the redhead remembers his reaction to Hiei's unexpected confession. He knows that the Jaganshi's words had not come easily; expressing feelings was difficult for Hiei. But Kurama had jumped away in shock, not believing what he had heard. It had been something he had wanted to hear for a long time, but he had never dared to hope. Mistaking the redhead's reaction for rejection, Hiei had disappeared, never returning.] _For the night..  
Claim your right to science..._

[Hiei wonders if his departure was too hasty. He _had_ been a bit out of character. Not to mention the fact that he had drunk a liberal amount of sake before daring to go to Kurama. Maybe the fox had just been startled...No...Wishful thinking would just make him depressed when it turned out to be untrue. Like the last time. Kurama never lost his composure, and he's a kitsune. Nothing could surprise him. Hiei pushes the thought from his mind.]

_Claim your right to see the truth...  
Though my pangs of conscience,  
Will drill a hole in you..._

[Kurama smiles bitterly as he remembers the pained, horrified look on Hiei's face. _Hiei...You should have known me better._ Kurama had loved the Jaganshi from the beginning. He had flirted shamelessly with Hiei, even though he had never gotten a response. _Do you think I treat everybody like that, itooshi?_ Kurama closes his eyes as he remembers the sanjiyan's low self-esteem and high self-hatred, realizing that his friend had never realized. It's Kurama's fault...He should have kept his cool. Now it's too late...]

_I seen it coming like a thief in the night,  
I seen it coming from the flash of your light..._

[Hiei shakes his head, wanting only to forget. He runs, trying to escape his past, knowing that it will catch up with him. It does as he stops in front of a Makai rose bush, a bush that blooms even in winter. The delicate flowers are as red as Kurama's hair. Hiei picks one, lifting it to his nose and breathing in the beautiful scent. _Red roses stand for love, Hiei..._ The memory pops up unbidden, and Hiei wonders about the red roses that Kurama had given him on occasion...Was that what he had meant..? Hiei shakes his head angrily, running away. He doesn't even feel the pain of the rose thorns as he clenches his fists.]

_So give me strength,  
To face this test tonight..._

[Kurama watches the snow fall. In the back of his mind is a picture of Hiei. He knows that he has to find the Jaganshi or die trying, or his life will remain forever incomplete. He opens the window and jumps out, heading toward the portal to the Makai.]

_If only I could turn back time..._

[Hiei jerks awake and sobs as he remembers his dream. He fights back tears, refusing to cry for his own stupidity of trusting a kitsune. The dream pushes through his weak defenses and he is helpless to fight anymore. The Jaganshi collapses, sobbing helplessly against the trunk of the tree. He had dreamed of that night, only it had ended differently. With Kurama accepting his love and loving him back.]

_If only I had said what I still hide...  
If only I could turn back time..._

[Kurama knows that he has to undo what was done. He runs through the Makai, searching for Hiei's ki. He wishes he had reacted differently in the first place. Then none of this would be necessary.]

_I would stay for the night..._

[A bitter taste fills Hiei's throat as he remembers that night again, and the tears continue to flow. The Jaganshi can't stop them, now that they've come. He wishes that he had stayed and done something more, anything that would have taken away the heaviness in his heart.]

_For the night..._

[Kurama runs through the mist, not really seeing where he was going, only knowing that he was heading toward his itooshi's ki. He needed to correct the mistake he had made a year before in not accepting the Jaganshi's love. He felt tears running down his cheeks; tears cried for Hiei. He should have made the fire demon stay...grabbed him before he reached the window. But regrets were pointless now. He couldn't exactly go back and change what had happened.]

_The bolt reminds me I was there_

[He still doesn't understand why Kurama rejected him. Had he misread the fox? Kurama had always teased him, seemingly flirting. Hiei had watched and thought about it for years before actually attempting to do anything about it. And he'd been wrong. He'd done something stupid again, as usual. Hiei passes out with exhaustion, tears finally spent.]

_The bolt reminds me I was there_

[Kurama finally reaches Hiei's tree. He stops and stares, frozen, as he sees the tear gems that litter the ground around the trunk. Proof of the suffering that the fox has caused the one he loves more than life itself. The redhead shakes himself from his stupor and jumps up into the tree.]

_If only I could turn back time..._

[Hiei stirs as he feels his branch move. He sees a dark shape move near him, but he does nothing. Why bother? His life has no meaning. "Go ahead and kill me," he whispers before passing out again.]

_If only I had said what I still hide..._

[Tears flow down Kurama's cheeks as he realizes just how much he hurt his Jaganshi. So much that Hiei doesn't want to live. Kurama hardens his resolve and gathers the unconscious sanjiyan in his arms. He runs back toward the portal, determined to prove his love.]

_If only I could turn back time..._

[Hiei awakes to find himself on a soft surface. _Is this death..?_ he wonders. Slowly, he opens his eyes to find himself in Kurama's bedroom, with Kurama watching him. Hiei closes his eyes again, sure that this is just the same painful dream repeating itself again. He decides to make the best of it. Perhaps he could live in this dream until he died. He opens his eyes to see Kurama again. And finds that it is not the same dream. Kurama's face is tearstained. "Hiei...I'm sorry for what I did...I love you..." Hiei just looks away, waiting to wake up.]

_I would stay for the night..._

[Kurama frowns at the Jaganshi's reaction, wondering aloud what is wrong with him. Hiei stares at him. "I'm waiting for the dream to end..." he responds softly. Kurama gasps and gathers the sanjiyan in his arms, cuddling him as he assures him that this is not a dream. Hiei's looks at him with eyes that are filled with pain, but, as Kurama looks into those beautiful crimson eyes, a new hope fills them. The screen darkens as the two who were destined to be lovers kiss. Both know that this love will last beyond death.]

_For the night..._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another songfic! I'm on a roll here! 


	8. Thank You 5301

Thank You

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _Thank You_ belongs to Dido and anyone else who helped to produce it and is from the album _No Angel_. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

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_My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all  
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all_

[Why did you leave, Yuusuke? You kept me going. First you die. Then you come back to life. Now you've left me. Every day is so stormy without you to help me, to make me get up and keep living...]

_And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall  
It reminds me that it's not so bad  
It's not so bad_

[Your school picture from last year, hanging on the wall. Scowling at me almost like you're really here. Scolding me for not doing what I'm supposed to. You promised you'd come back, and this picture reminds me of your promise. I'm keeping you to it, Yuusuke no baka! Don't even try to get out of it!]

_I drank too much last night, got bills to pay  
My head just feels in pain_

[You always knew when to take the bottle away from me. "That's enough, Mom." I can almost hear your voice. But I can't control my drinking myself. I need your help. So when I drink, it's in front of your scowling picture, not at the bars I used to frequent. You don't come to get me anymore...]

_I missed the bus and there'll be hell today  
I'm late for work again  
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day  
And then you call me and it's not so bad  
It's not so bad_

[Damn. I'm late for work again. Yeah, Yuusuke, I managed to get a job. Not that I'll keep it long if this keeps up. Even your picture won't keep me from drinking too much sometimes. You called on the phone yesterday. Said you were fine. Asked how I was. I told you I was fine. In AA. I lied, Yuusuke, but I've thrown all my bottles down the sink. I won't buy anymore for a week. Promise. Just like you promised you're going to come back in two years...]

_I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life  
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life_

[Keiko-chan misses you too, Yuusuke. She came over last night and asked if i'd spoken to you. Why haven't you called her, baka! It's so obvious you two are meant for each other. Or deserve each other. Probably both. Having her to talk to was nice though. She promised to stop by more frequently. Maybe she can help me get off of alcohol. I'm too dependant on it to help myself get off it. And you're not here.]

_Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through  
Then you handed me a towel and all I see is you  
And even if my house falls down now, I wouldn't have a clue  
Because you're near me_

[A hard day at work. I actually got there early, not that my boss noticed. Half the time, he gets in later than me. His secretary is a big snitch. It's pouring when I get off the bus, and I have to run three blocks home in the rain. And there you are, standing in the kitchen with that same cocky grin on your face, holding a warm-looking towel out at me. I ignore it and hug you. You visit too infrequently. I have to call Keiko and cook a nice dinner for you. Who knows what kind of crap you eat these days.]

_I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life_

[You have to leave early the next morning, but seeing you has really lifted my spirits. I don't need alcohol to drown myself in. Now I have a daughter-in-law to talk to and have fun with. Thank you, Yuusuke. For everything.]

_Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In case you didn't notice, this was done from Atsuko's point of view. I've never read one like that, so I created one.


	9. God Must Have Spent a Little More Time o...

(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You_ belongs to N'Sync and anyone else who helped to produce it. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

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_Can this be true?  
Tell me, can this be real?  
How can I put into words what I feel?_

[Hiei sits in a tree overlooking a lake, confusion running through his mind. He can't believe that the events of the past few days have actually happened. It feels so strange...these strange emotions. Especially the one known as 'love'. Hiei sighs, not knowing how to express these new emotions.]

_My life was complete  
I thought I was whole  
Why do I feel like I'm loosing control?_

[Hiei pulls his knees to his chest, his emotions reeling. He had thought his life was fine as it was, and now his whole world is different...strange...He feels like he's falling.]

_I never thought that love could feel like this  
Until you changed my world with just one kiss_

[Hiei hadn't even known what love was until that night. He had never before experienced it. He knew friendship since he had become a member of the Urameshi team. And he had been confused even before he learned what love was. He'd had an idea about it. Kurama had once explained ningen emotions to him, though Hiei hadn't really understood it until now. The Jaganshi raises a hand to his lips, remember the sensation of being kissed, and the realization that he _is_ loved that came with it. He had always thought that love was stupid, something that was unnecessary. Now he knew differently.]

_How can it be that right here with me  
There's an angel?  
It's a miracle!_

[Hiei thinks back to his life without this emotion, this love, and realizes that he can never go back to life without it. He remembers the rumors about Youkos in the Makai, and his heart sinks. But Kurama quells his fears with a few words. Hiei hugs him gently, cuddling close, hardly daring to believe that this beautiful being could love somebody like him.]

_Your love is like a river  
Peaceful and deep  
Your soul is like a secret that I  
Never could keep_

[Hiei watches Kurama as he sleeps, a feeling of protectiveness surrounding him. He frowns as he realizes that this is the first time he's ever felt that feeling for something other than treasure or his sister. Kurama opens his eyes and pulls Hiei against his chest, hugging him gently. Hiei falls asleep, feeling like he's enveloped in a blanket of love.]

_When I look into your eyes  
I know that its true  
God must have spent a little more time on you_

[Hiei wakes to see Kurama, and he can't help but smile as he looks into his lover's beautiful emerald eyes. As the fox leans close and kisses him, Hiei realizes how fortunate he is to be close to one so lovely, so flawless.]

_In all of creation are things great and small  
You are the one that surpasses them all  
More precious than any diamond or pearl  
They broke the mold when you came in this world_

[Kurama holds Hiei tightly, feeling very fortunate to have won the heart of one so precious. He kisses Hiei as he realizes that no one could ever be as precious as the Jaganshi he is holding. He knows that Hiei is unique in every possible way.]

_And I'm trying hard to figure out  
Just how I ever did without  
The warmth of your smile  
The heart of a child  
That's deep inside  
Leaves me purified_

[Kurama stares, breathless, as Hiei smiles at him. He has never seen anything so beautiful, so...wonderful. He hugs Hiei again, wondering how anyone could ever have abandoned a being so innocent and amazing. He remembers Hiei's confusion at the beginning of their relationship and realizes that Hiei has never experienced love before. The Jaganshi is truly just learning how to love. Kurama feels a sense of wonder as he realizes that he is Hiei's teacher. His only teacher.]

_Your love is like a river  
Peaceful and deep  
Your soul is like a secret that I  
Never could keep_

[Kurama kisses Hiei as the Jaganshi falls asleep after a passionate night. He feels as if Hiei's love has totally saturated him, contenting him and making his love for the fire youkai even deeper. Hiei has opened his soul to him in the past few weeks, and Kurama feels privileged and blessed to have the honor of his trust.]

_When I look into your eyes  
I know that its true  
God must have spent a little more time on you_

[Kurama smiles as Hiei stirs slightly and opens his crimson eyes halfway. The Jaganshi smiles back and closes his eyes, snuggling closer to Kurama before falling back to sleep. Kurama entwines his arms around his lover and buries his face in spiky, sweet-smelling hair. He knows that Hiei is nearly perfect...At least perfect for him.]

_I never thought that love could feel like this  
Until you changed my world with just one kiss_

Kurama remembers Hiei's reaction to the first kiss. The fire spirit had run away, probably frightened and confused. And Kurama had sunk into a deep depression, knowing that, after this, they wouldn't even be able to be friends. Then Hiei had entered his room late on night and had quickly kissed Kurama, obviously not having any experience in the field. Kurama grins as he realizes how far gone that is.]

_How can it be that right here with me  
There's an angel?  
It's a miracle!_

[Kurama frowns as he realizes that Hiei is only in the Ningenkai until his parole ends. He confesses the worry to his lover. Hiei just smiles. "Not even Enma himself could keep me from your side, Fox." Kurama smiles back, relieved. He knows that he has found his soul mate. Neither of them will let anything separate them, not even death.]

_Your love is like a river  
Peaceful and deep  
Your soul is like a secret that I   
Never could keep_

[Hiei and Kurama kiss passionately, entwined around each other. They both feel as if they are drowning in each other's love. Both know that they are soul mates, meant to be together. _Made_ for each other. Both know the other completely, body, soul, and mind. And they know that they will be together for all eternity.]

_When I look into your eyes  
I know that its true  
God must have spent a little more time on you_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, this is the first songfic in a two part series. The other one is _I Drive Myself Crazy_, also by N'Sync. Read that one too. 'Course, if you read this one second, not much you can do. Doesn't really matter anyhoo...


	10. I Drive Myself Crazy 52501

I Drive Myself Crazy

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _I Drive Myself Crazy_ belongs to N'Sync and anyone else who helped to produce it. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Ohhh...ohhh...  
Ohhh...Oh...  
Lying in your arms  
So close together  
Didn't know just what I had_

[Kurama holds a sleeping Hiei, running a hand through the Jaganshi's spiky hair. Smiling, Kurama snuggles closer to his lover and falls asleep.]

_Now I toss and turn  
Cause I'm without you  
How I'm missing you so bad_

[Kurama wakes with a start, glancing around the room furtively. Then he remembers that Hiei is gone, and he falls back on the pillow, depression surrounding him. The fox wishes that he could tell Hiei he loves him, but he knows that's not possible. Words can't breach the wall of death.]

_Where was my head  
Where was my heart  
Now I cry alone in the dark_

[Kurama remembers the day Hiei died in the form of vivid nightmares, nightmares so strong and stubborn that not even the strongest of sleep medications will kill them. He'd been too slow. He shouldn't have hesitated. After all, if his ningen form died, he would go back to the Makai as a fox spirit. As Youko Kurama. But Hiei died instead, and his death was permanent. Kurama sobs as he wakes again, curling around the empty space in the bed as he cries.]

_I lie awake  
I drive myself crazy  
Drive myself crazy  
Thinking of you_

[Kurama can't sleep. His memories plague him, and he lies in bed, drowning himself in the good ones. Why can't he just forget and move on? He's going crazy thinking of his lost love.]

_Made a mistake  
When I let you go baby  
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do  
(Wanting you the way that I do)_

[Kurama thrashes in his sleep, remembering, in his dreams again, Hiei's death. Superimpose the fox trying, with all his strength, to heal Hiei's obviously-mortal wounds. Hiei's shaking, blood-covered hand grabs his, stopping him from healing him. The Jaganshi kisses Kurama's hand gently, whispering 'I'm sorry, Fox...Ai shiteru...' before closing his crimson eyes and slipping into an eternal slumber. Kurama jerks awake in his bed, tears streaming down his face as his heart aches with sorrow and longing.]

_I was such a fool  
I couldn't see it  
Just how good you were to me, oh yes  
You confessed your love  
Undying devotion_

Hiei tries to comfort the fox, but his hands pass right through his lover. He curses in frustration, angry at himself for hurting Kurama so badly. For daring to die. He hadn't realized how much the fox cared for him until now. Koenma had told him that he had no chance of being reborn yet as he hadn't finished his parole. He had told Kurama as well, and the fox had left before Koenma had finished, believing Hiei to be gone forever. But Hiei isn't gone. Koenma is allowing him to stay with Kurama until the fox dies, then they will be reborn together, in the same body, and finally be complete. But Hiei can't stand to see his soul mate in such agony! How can he reach Kurama, though? He doesn't know.]

_I confessed my need to be free  
And now I'm left  
With all this pain  
I've only got myself to blame, no..._

[Hiei sighs softly as Kurama shakes, his sobs wracking his body. Why did he have to have died? The sanjiyan curses his clumsiness as Kurama whispers his name, asking him why he left. Hiei touches Kurama's hair, knowing that the fox can't feel him or hear his words. "I'm sorry, Fox...Ai shiteru..." Then he flinches as he remembers that those were the last words he said to Kurama before he died.]

_I lie awake  
I drive myself crazy  
Drive myself crazy  
Thinking of you_

[Kurama lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to live outside of his dreams. Dreams of his love.]

_Made a mistake  
I let you go baby  
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do  
(Wanting you the way that I do)_

[Hiei tries to touch Kurama, to comfort him, but his hands pass right through the fox. He wonders again why he was so clumsy. Why did he have to die, right when his life was finally getting better, when he finally felt loved? He aches with sorrow, wishing he could be with his soul mate.]

_Why didn't I know it  
(How much I loved you baby)_

[Kurama sits in bed, tearless. He can't seem to cry anymore. Why hadn't he realized how much he cared about Hiei? He wants to turn back time, but he knows that's not possible. He'll never be able to tell Hiei how much he loves him.]

_Why couldn't I show it  
(If I had only told you)  
When I had the chance  
Oh, I had the chance, awww..._

[Hiei watches Kurama cry, unable to comfort him. Then he curses. How is it that he was so powerful alive and in death he can't even contact Kurama? The fire demon sits down heavily, then jumps back up as he gets an idea.]

_I lie awake  
I drive myself crazy_

[Kuwabara looks up from his comic book as he feels a chill. _A spirit..._ He looks around and concentrates, then yelps as Hiei appears in front of him.]

_Drive myself crazy  
Thinking of you_

[Kurama sighs as the doorbell rings. Slowly, he rises and answers it to find Kuwabara standing there. The fox lets him in. Kuwabara tells Kurama about Hiei's visit to him. "He said to tell you he's always with you." Kurama smiles, feeling infinitely happier. He thanks Kuwabara and watches him leave.]

_Made a mistake  
Let you go baby  
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do_

[Kurama's life picks up. He can actually feel Hiei's presence with him wherever he goes. But he wishes he could actually touch his soul mate.]

_I lie awake  
I drive myself crazy  
Drive myself crazy_

[Hiei curls up on the bed next to Kurama, wishing he could touch the fox. His hand passes right through Kurama, and the Jaganshi sighs in annoyance.]

_Made a mistake  
I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do_

[Kurama walks to work on a beautiful spring day, feeling Hiei's presence with him. He daydreams, not really noticing his surroundings. Crossing a street, he hears his name being called and he turns to see a transparent Hiei staring behind him in horror. The fox turns and sees the car. Too late. Kurama feels his body fall to the ground, and he smiles, reaching toward Hiei, who now seems solid. He's going to be with Hiei...]

_I drive myself crazy  
Wanting you the way that I do..._

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Well...Another death fic. My second one, though I insinuated that they would be together later on...in another life...This is the sequal to _(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time On You_, also by N'Sync. Ironically, I own no N'Sync CD's, yet I have written three songfics using their songs.


	11. Here's to the Night 7201

Here's to the Night 

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: The song _Here's to the Night_ belongs to Eve 6 and anyone else who helped to produce it. Yu Yu Hakusho belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Perriot, TV Tokyo, Shounen Jump, and anyone else who helped produce this series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_So denied  
So I lied  
Are you the now or never kind?_

[Damn Mukuro. She kept me late again. I'm late, and I know it. But I'm not going to acknowledge that fact in front of him. But I know that he's afraid because of my tardiness. He has no reason to know that I'm alive. Only my occasional visits, so looked forward to, mark my continued existence. If I ever decided not to come back when scheduled, he would believe me dead and grieve as if I were. This time I even told him that I had my days off a day after they really were supposed to be, and I'm still a day late...The last time this happened, I came to the window to see him crying. So I left. Went to a payphone and called him with some of the ningen coins I always keep for such an occasion. (Or for that sweet snow he insists on calling 'ice cream'...) When I arrived again, he was totally composed. There was no sign of the tears that I had seen before. I can't help wondering if they were really for me...No one has ever wasted tears on me before...I'll have to stop at a payphone again.]

_In a day  
And a day  
Love I'm gonna be gone for good again_

[I arrive at his house at daybreak, as usual...only a day late this time...two if you count the one I lied about. The window opens as I reach it, and I enter, looking at his beautiful tan face carefully for signs of tears, my focus eventually coming to rest on his bright green eyes, so full of life. No tears. No redness. Perhaps last time was merely a fluke. I must have seen him crying over something else, something that bothered him during his ningen day. He knows that I believe ningen emotions are weak, so he hid them. I should have known that before. No one would bother to grieve my death...At least not as a lost love. Still, I wish someone cared enough to cry for me. Ironic, ne? I guess I'm just stupid. He smiles at me and, suddenly, nothing else matters. I have two days and a night of vacation, and I plan to enjoy every second of it. Then I have six months before my next one. Give or take a few days. I suddenly notice the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He plops a shopping bag down in front of me. Peeking in, I see ningen clothes that are about my size. I snort at the grin on his face and change quickly. Then he pulls me out the door. To the carnival, he says. I honestly don't care where we go. As long as I'm with him.]

_Are you willing to be had?  
Are you cool with just tonight?  
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

[One night is all we have together. He knows that. We don't sleep. We never do. Not that night. I would be willing to stay like that the rest of the next day, entwined in his arms, anything he wants, but we rise early to go out again. We always do. That's how I know he enjoys my company and not just the sex. He's a good friend as well as a lover. Probably because we were friends before we became lovers. Reminds me of an American song I once heard at a club we went to. By some American woman named Alanis Morissette. 'Best friend with benefits.' That line...fits. We eventually became lovers because...well, his youko half was in heat. And it wanted me. I was just...lonely. Depressed, I guess. He helped me get over that. Real fast. I glance at him with an involuntary smile as he laughs at the gutter ball he just threw. Does he mind that I'm going to leave at sundown? He may miss my company, not that that's worth much. He has so many other friends to talk to and have fun with. And some who would be willing to be more than just friends. So there's no logical reason for him to miss me. But me...I only have him. To be perfectly honest, Mukuro keeps me too busy to miss him...much. Why do I even try to lie to myself? I miss him when I'm in the Makai. It's like an empty void fills my heart when I have to leave...Am I the only being in the universe who goes through this? Everywhere we go, ningen couples surround us. Ningens who are able to be together more than four days a year...I swallow hard as my nose begins to burn. Is this what love feels like? I wonder...]

_Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye   
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

[We return to his apartment a few hours before sunset, as usual. Giving us plenty of time to say goodbye. We always need it. As I dress, I see the sorrow in the back of his emerald eyes. And I know in my heart that he'll cry after I've left. Why do I have to leave..? I mentally shake myself. I have to go to the Makai. I'm Mukuro's heir. This way we'll be well-off when his ningen form dies and he returns to the Makai as Youko Kurama. That doesn't make the pain of impending separation go away...And I know that nothing will. I kiss him one last time and press something into his palm, then leave before he sees that it's a tear gem. I've never given him one, though I've cried plenty of them on my way back to the Makai. I wish I didn't have to leave him. My heart aches to be with him again already and my soul feels as if it is withering away at the very thought of the six long months that stretch before me, an obstacle to being with him. I stop and look back as I reach the gate, tears streaming down my cheeks to drop to the ground as jet-black tear gems. Resolutely, I wipe them away and force my face to compose. It's so hard...I run through the gate.]

_Put your name  
On the line   
Along with place and time_

[I sigh as I see the register. Koenma has this thing with registering use of the gates now. In order to get through the gate, I have to write down my name, where I'm going, and the time and date I'm going. He's already called me in to ask me about my trips to the Ningenkai. I told him where to shove his nose, and he nearly banned me from using the gates. So I kicked Boton out of the room and told him exactly why I went to the Ningenkai so often. A very embarrassed Koenma quickly shooed me out, giving me full access to the gates immediately. Smart baby. I write my name and step through the gate to the Makai.]

_Wanna stay  
Not to go  
I wanna ditch the logical  
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

[I stop and look back at the gate. Damn. I don't want to go back to Mukuro. I want go back to the Ningenkai and stay with him. We can live simply when we go back to the Makai in a few decades...We both have done it before. But I have the chance to make our lives comfortable...except for the assassins. I can't go back to the Ningenkai...But I wish I could. I hate living like this! With an explosive sigh I turn toward Mukuro's and run. I stop as I feel some low A-class signatures that shouldn't be in the area and pull out my sword with a growl. Back to work. Suddenly, arrows come at me and I dodge out of the way. All but one miss. That one hits my calf. I backtrack quickly out of range and pull the arrow out. Then I stare at the flint. It's been dyed orange...with poison. I curse and quickly tourniquet my leg, then run toward the gate, arrow clutched in my fist. Kurama. He should have the antidote. Or be able to get it...I hope...]

_Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye   
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

[By the time I reach his apartment, the wound is burning, and I know that it's a slow-acting poison. Meaning it's probably lethal. He's sprawled on the bed, sobbing, when I reach the window. I frown, then knock sharply. His head jerks up and he rushes to the window. I wince in pain as I jump in, then hand him the arrow. He takes one look at it and sits down hard, horror imprinted on his face. And I know it's bad. He throws the arrow away from him and grabs me, pulling me to him in a jerky embrace, tears streaming down his cheeks. And I know, even before the words leave his mouth, that I am going to die. The poison is very slow-acting, and will take twelve hours to kill me. Fortunately, my death will not be painful. Only too soon for my liking. I spent far too little time with him. We have only one night to say goodbye forever. I kiss him gently, and he lets go of me, smiling at me so sadly that I feel that my heart is on the verge of breaking. He pulls me onto the bed and proceeds to seduce me as tenderly and as lovingly as he did that first night, so long ago. The only difference is the tears that stain his tan face and the silky sheets that cover us. My wish has come true. Someone will cry over my death. I just didn't know it would happen so soon. I wish I'd never made that wish...]

_All my time is froze in motion   
Can't I stay an hour or two or more  
Don't let me let you go  
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

[I lay against his chest, listening to his heart beat. Soon I will be gone, never to hear that beautiful, rhythmic sound again. Before I know it, tears begin to stream down my face. He pulls away and stares at me in shock. Never has he seen me cry. Then he pulls me to him and we cry together for a long time. Too soon, I'll be gone for good, never to return. I wish I could stay with him forever. I don't want to let him go. Not ever. I'm losing everything...my love...my life...All for a stupid job. It's not fair...I kiss him again, wishing I had more time to be with him, to love him. More time to be loved, too. As the hours pass, it becomes more exhausting to move, to keep my eyes open, even to breathe, and I know my time is soon to end. Kurama pulls away from me and touches my face gently, caressing my cheek. I blink rapidly as my vision blurs and manage to clear it. But I know that won't last for long. Gently, I touch his face as he touched mine, lingering just a little longer to wipe away a tear with my thumb. Then I tangle my fingers in his long, silky red hair and stare into the beautiful green eyes that I love so much. I can hear my breathing become slower, and I see the horrible, terrified look on his face as my vision fades out...I'm being pulled away...'I love you,' I whisper, hoping that he heard me, that my voice had not failed. I hear his answer...then everything is silent...]

_Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye   
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

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Okay, I'm getting a little too good with these death fics. I was crying while I wrote this one! I actually didn't set out to make this a death fic though. It was originally going to have another ending. I just liked this one better. There's a possibility of me getting around to posting an alternate ending, but not for a little while...


End file.
